Jerry Seinfeld began his commute after dinner, in no particular hurry. Around quarter to 8 on a drizzly Tuesday, he left his Manhattan home — a palatial duplex apartment with picture windows and a broad terrace overlooking Central Park — and made for a nearby garage. Due to tell jokes at a comedy club downtown, he decided to drive what he calls his “city car”: a 1998 Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. Stepping into the garage, he tugged a thick fabric cover from the car. The interior was a pristine matte black, and the paint job was a startlingly luminous azure. “It’s called Mexico blue — a very traditional Porsche color,” Seinfeld said. “In the ’70s it looked normal, but now it looks insane.”
His hair, flecked with gray, was buzzed almost to the scalp, and he was dressed in light-blue Levi’s, a navy knit polo and a dark wool blazer. Seinfeld, who once said he wore sneakers long into adulthood “because it reminds me I don’t have a job,” has lately grown partial to Nike Shox, which he likes for their extravagant cushioning, but tonight he opted for tan suede desert boots. When he’s in the workplace — on a stage, microphone in hand, trying to make a crowd erupt — the feel of a harder sole helps him get into the right mind-set.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could draw. I can’t make a thing in my mind go on paper. I draw like a child. Like a heavily beaten and molested child. Who can’t draw.
What is your current state of mind?
I’m sort of depressed, actually. I wish you hadn’t asked.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
It would be that I never agreed to fill out this fucking thing.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Oh my God, you really want to hear some shit, don’t you? I’m not answering that. Who would answer that???
Happy Birthday, Richard Pryor!
The Ritz Carlton (aka Chris Gethard, dressed as Carlton Banks, holding Ritz crackers and doing “the Carlton” outside the Ritz Carlton)
Chris Gethard is an outstanding comedy show host, and if you didn’t already know that, this clip will show you why. Unlike stand-up comedians who write all of their own material, and comedic actors who have the majority of their lines fed to them, being a show host means being constantly bombarded with ideas from all kinds of different sources and never having enough time to perfect the idea or routine. What you get on the other end of that process is a little bit of funny and a whole lot of messy. Conan, for example, takes even his biggest bombs and makes them funny. Jay Leno, however, does that awkward thing where he keeps talking or just says the punchline a second time in order to hide the fact that no one is laughing, and then has a look of suppressed evil on his face like he’s about to fire all of writers and spread lies about their spouses.
In short, being a show host means being able to turn your stupidest moments into your funniest ones.
And so without further ado, here is a video of Chris Gethard wearing clothes like “Carlton” from Fresh Prince, holding Ritz crackers, and dancing at the Ritz Carlton hotel. — bestrooftalkever
How are you? Hope you are well! How’s Stedman? The puppies? The favorite things?
I’m doing all right, you know, living my best life. Well, as best as I can in chemotherapy.
Today is my first day. It’s no book club!
p.s. what does it all mean?