Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could draw. I can’t make a thing in my mind go on paper. I draw like a child. Like a heavily beaten and molested child. Who can’t draw.

What is your current state of mind?
I’m sort of depressed, actually. I wish you hadn’t asked.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
It would be that I never agreed to fill out this fucking thing.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Oh my God, you really want to hear some shit, don’t you? I’m not answering that. Who would answer that???

Louis CK filled out Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire and it went about as well as you’d expect